Stop being nice?
“Mom, I’ve figured it out! I must stop being nice in order to be successful.” ”
Gosh, it was 20+ years ago. I was career planning and experienced an ah ha! moment. I called my Mom immediately.
"Mom, I figured it out!” I declared. “I must stop being nice in order to succeed in my career.” How cool. I’d found the silver bullet. This was my new approach. I was certain.
"Oh honey," she replied.
It was clear to my 20-something-year-old self that my Mom didn't know the context of corporate America. She worked for the State of Nebraska.
Remember when you were 20-something and were pretty resolute about the "rightness" of your discoveries? Or maybe it was just me... :)
Well, I'm happy to tell you that I never implemented the "stop being nice" approach as I saw it back then.
But I love the distinction between nice and kind in recent conversations.
My favorite boss was clear, direct, and kind. You always knew where you stood and always knew that — at the core — she cared and wanted you to succeed.
“Clear is kind.”
Who is/was your favorite boss? Were they nice, kind, or both? What did you learn from them?
More Nice Stuff
Be Kind To Your Employees But Don’t Always Be Nice in HBR by John Palotta
Beware a Culture of Nice in Sunday Snippet by John Stevenson of ClientKudos
How To Push Back and Stop Being Nice in Forbes by Margie Warrell
The Tyranny of Relentless Positivity in Mindful by Susan David, Ph.D.
