Tips for complaining.

Tips for Complaining (kind of)

I remind my clients that they leave a leadership wake (Dr. Henry Cloud) behind them -- for better or worse.

Think about a leader you admire. Or think about yourself when you're at your best.

Now here's the situation. Someone has abruptly interrupted and is passionately sharing a complaint with them (you).

How do they (you) respond when someone complains about the work of their team?

Are there a series of panicked calls to figure out who screwed up? A flurry of emails with everyone cc'd so nobody gets left out of the fire drill?

Or do they (you) ask questions to understand what the complainer is really saying?

Here are 3 tips when you're on the receiving end of a complaint:

Tip #1: breathe

Tip #2: stay present and try your best to stay open -- especially if this topic/person/day is giving you a fingernails-on-the-chalkboard chill

Tip #3: hear and see what is really being said -- this takes paying attention to a lot more than words

Try reframing to see how complaining is actually a good thing. No, not kidding. Why? Complaining shows that the person cares.

So be aware of your leadership wake when fielding complaints. What impact is it having on your team? Positive or painful?

Originally a LinkedIn post.