Look and see.

Happy New Year. Happy fresh start and renewed vigor and focus on goals for us all. Since it’s the goal-setting season, let’s add another goal, shall we? Don’t worry, this one will take very little time or physical energy.

My challenge to all of us in 2020 is to look around. Yep, that’s it. Do it now.

• What do you see?

• What is right in front of you that you don’t see?

• Why? Is it because it’s so common? Too painful? You’re not ready for it?

• What do you see that isn’t there?

• Are there things you see about some people or things that aren’t really there?

If you’re intentional about looking you might see some of these things. And because we might see so much when we really look, there’s no way our brains could consciously process the bazillions of stimuli in every moment of our life. So, our smart brains put things in categories, name them, ignore them, put them on autopilot, or one of many other things our miraculous brains do for us.  

Did you know that we have 80,000 thoughts each day? And 80% of those are the same thoughts as you had the day before? And 80% of the repeat thoughts from the day before are negative? Holy cow. We’ve got work to do. Talk about the power of self-talk! (Thanks to Life Coach Sarah Uchytil for sharing this information at today’s 2020 Namaste retreat.)

It would be nearly impossible to see with childlike newness for long periods of time, but what if we focused on this exercise occasionally in various settings? For example, tonight I’m in my living room typing like a crazy lady on my laptop under my blanket in front of a fire (seriously, a wonderful night!). Did I really look at the fire and see it before I sat down and stared at my screen? Or did I see the blanket? Really, best blanket I’ve ever had (and I’m a blanket connoisseur) and it was a thank you gift for giving blood. When covering up I literally thought, “I need to give blood again. This is a great blanket.” So, maybe I did see the blanket, probably because it’s new. And in the blanket-love moment I decided to give blood forever because that might mean another blanket. I digress…

The definition of “look” is to direct one’s gaze toward someone or something or in a specified direction. The definition of “see” is to discern or deduce mentally after reflection or from information; understand. They are dramatically different.

One of our greatest needs in life is to be seen. Or as Maslow told us years ago, the first need is safety and security and food, and next is belonging and love. To belong is to be seen. So, every human has the universal need to be seen. It doesn’t mean optically. If I am blind, I can see. Seeing is acknowledging another human. It is powerful and matters to all of us.

A great example is a party or networking event. Looking is when you see someone that passes by you when scanning the room clearly looking for someone else. Seeing is when they catch your eye, pause, and come over to see how you are doing. To see how you are doing.

We can look without seeing. And we do it all the time. As mentioned before, we must in order to function. But we can also take moments here and there to look and see if we’re intentional about it. And there’s power there – for you to be seen and for others to feel the same.

Try this exercise in seeing to paint your reality for 2020.

• What do you want to see this year? Where would you look to find it?

• What’s right in front of you that deserves to be seen in 2020?

Enjoy the view.